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「/ttg/ #5 - cute chud edition」

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Tiktok Zoom Central

1. No lewding minors
2. No personal contact with any tokkers
3. No doxx
4. No discord usage
5. No skipping meds

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THREAD locked BY 'admin'
1955 post(s) and 789 image(s) omittedSee all
heyyy we got a new one
>inb4 its 'nonnie hopping with vpns
>>10122 #
ye he's kinda shy, come on anoni post a tok we're friendly so far
>>10122 #
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>>10121 #
I havent swapped vpns in a while so its not me
maybe its the rascal randy that had his dynamic ip drop and got a new one or someone lurking
maybe its a shy anonie (who is super cute) he should come out and post a tok if he is lurking
>>10121 #
post nozzomi cosplay now
>>10128 #

she cyute. i love germans so much man.
anyone else dying in this heatwave?
>>10131 #
>>10131 #
is it the heatwave or noemi making me thirsty, haha, know what im saying?
alright im gonna take a nap
>>10134 #
>>10132 #
just hold on for a lil longer anony, freshness and overcast weather will arrive soon at your destination(™)
>>10137 #
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>>10137 #
I fell ya, autumn and winter are the best cuz you can just lay some comfy clothes on you and be warm 'n cozy, in summer i could remove all layers of my skin + fat and yet still feel like my room and the outside are the insides of an active jet turbine, even with the portable AC on, shit aint helping fr
>>10139 #
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>>10140 #
I have both at home but they always get in the way and the fan I like is way too large and way too loud, sounds like an propeller engine is going on in my room
the portable AC I havent used in like 5 years but it was all right, had to empty the water bucket all the time though that was annoying
>>10142 #
>>10141 #
Have you considered installing a proper AC? if you own your apartment/house and can afford it, its the only option for a chill summer with minimal noise
>>10143 #
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>>10142 #
No space for one and probably not worth it with how short and inconsistent our summers are
every year has colder summers and rainier summers
sometimes the summers are insanely hot, it was that ways a few years back but its trending towards more extreme weather in both directions
It wouldnt be economically worth it to install one
one day I must spend a few hours making a lot of good reaction images so I have stuff to attach to posts
>>10144 #
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>>10143 #
>No space for one and probably not worth it with how short and inconsistent our summers are
tru tru, i didn't take that factor into consideration, i wish Italy was a bit chiller in the summer too, i envy scandis sometimes
>>10145 #
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Do italians make fun of their neighbouring countries like the scandis do? We make jokes about each other all the time, do you guys bully the french and spaniards in the same way?
heres one:
Why do norwegians crawl around on all fours at the supermarket? They are looking for low prices
>>10147 #
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>>10146 #
We make fun of the french a lot in here, but rarely i saw ppl poking fun around the spaniards, i dont remember any funny french jokes, they are usually about how smelly and arrogant they are.
Are norwegians considered that "greedy" about their money?
>>10148 #
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Heres one about the danish for good measure
During last year's winter, a group of swedes and danes engage in a fishing competition. The danes had, after day two of the competition, heard news that the swedes had caught large amounts of fish and therefore sent over an undercover spy to complete reconnaissance.
When the danish spy returned, he shouted with glee and excitement:
- Guys!!! The swedes have made a hole in the ice!
>>10151 #
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>>10151 #
The joke is that after two days, the danish havent figured out that you have to make a hole in the ice to catch the fish in the lake (ice fishing)
All of these jokes you can just swap out one country for the other, none of them are particularly targeted towards any of the other so you could as well use the finns for the submarine joke etc
Most jokes that are actually finnish related are puns in swedish so they dont really make sense in english
looking for some now Ive seen a few decent one, heres one about the finns but not making fun of the finns
>A soviet militarycolumn is traveling through finnish territory during the Winter War. From the other side of a hill a shout emerges:
-One finnish soldier can conquer 10 russian!
>The russian general laughs and sends 10 soldiers across the hill. After the shots have quieted down no soldiers return, but then another shout emerges:
-One finnish soldier can conquer 50 russian!
>The general, turning red with anger, sends 50 of his troops. The same thing happens and this time the shouting tells:
-One finnish soldier can conquer 100 russian!
>Going insane with rage, the russian general sends one hundred of his best men. This time, a mortally wounded soldier returns crawling and speaks his last words:
-Please, dont send any more soldiers... It's a trap, there's two of them

another person states
>We don't dare joke about the finns
to which another replies
>We have fought with the finns and concluded that their cause is ours. Likewise cannot be said about the pigs down south
>>10153 #
>>10152 #
yea sorry i dont get this one either, if i was a finnish or russian i would probably get it tho
>>10154 #
>>10153 #
The joke is pretty self-explainable, not sure if I can explain it in any other way beyond restating the punchline
>"A finnish soldier can kill 100 russian soldiers"
>Russian guy sends 100 soldiers
>One guy returns "Dont send more soldiers, theres TWO finnish soldiers"
mandatory homework for tonight is to read up on Simo Häyhä
>>10155 #
>>10154 #
OOOOOOOOOO wait, the punchline is about the finnish sniper? i did understand the part about 2 finnish soldier but it didn't felt like a punchline imo
>>10156 #
>>10155 #
not in particular, the joke is that the finnish soldier is baiting the russian into sending soldiers over saying "Hah, I can kill X amount of soldiers all on my own" and then theres actually two finns, meaning that if one finn can kill 100 then 2 of them can kill even more than 100
>>10157 #
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A helicopter crashed at a cemetary in Copenhagen. As of yet, the police have found 500 dead bodies

A swede and a norwegian had visited a skyscraper and set a competition of who could reach the bottom the fastest, the swedish man bet that the staircase was faster and the norwegian said that he was sure the elevator would be faster.
Who made it down first? The swede, the norwegian had to stop now and then to ask for directions

Two norwegians talk to each other:
-Can you imagine that in the US, one person gets run over every fifteen minutes?
-Oh wow... what bad luck he must have
>>10162 #
>>10161 #
Ok the helicopter one gave me a chuckle, i like clever jokes like that a lot
lemme see if i can translate some italian ones

One roman and one french person are walking together and they encounter some dog's excrement on the road
the french replies with "parbleu" and the roman replies back to him "But... but to me it looks brown"
The punchline is basically that the word "parblue" is similar to the italian phrase "Pare blu" which translates to "it looks blue"
>>10163 #
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Here are some the finnish say about the swedes

Why do swedes like having their king on their postage stamps? They like licking his behind

A group of swedes were swimming at a pool. Suddenly a condom floats up to the surface. One of the swedes ask: Who farted?

the finnlander who I took these jokes from then goes on to explain that
>most of our jokes about swedes are basically "hahaha swedes are stupid and homo, perkele" which is funny to me
>>10162 #
I dont know what parbleu means in french so I dont get what the french wanted to say even if it sounds like pare blu
also do you guys joke about the romans still or do you mean roman as in a citizen of rome?
>>10164 #
oh ok when I hear romans I think of the ancient romans
>>10164 #>>10165 #
>>10163 #
parbleu is like the french way of saying "Oh god" in a shocked tone
>>10166 #
>>10167 #
kinda weird he had to put that ukraine stuff in the title lmao, just noticed it
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After reaching a certain age time seems to pass too fast.
You're 23, you blink and bam now you're 25, blink again and bam, now you're 30 so on and so forth
>>10170 #
That's a nice one not gonna lie
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The perma bulk continues. It's in "Medical News" so it must be true and definitely not a nuanced finding that the title is misconstruing
>>10177 #
>>10176 #
The study seems to drive home the point of keeping a stable weight, whatever that means.
So basically don't be anorexic or obese and you might live longer?
>>10178 #
The whole illness thing popped in my head too, the decreased longevity is obviously caused by the root of the problem(cancer and other illnesses) the weight loss is practically just the tower falling to pieces, not the bomb that caused the explosion in the tower to begin with
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>>10177 #
What it more or less says is that you want to maintain a healthy weight, but the "maintain" part is kind of a red herring since its less about controlling it yourself but more so that unintentional weight loss is linked to having a lower chance of longevity
unintentional weight loss is often caused by illnesses such as cancer, pneumonia etc, if you end up developing ails such as these you will, of course, have a lower chance of living until 90 or 100
its a really poorly stated article and someone posted that screenshot to bait on /fit/
>>10177 #
>>10177 #
>the decreased longevity is obviously caused by the root of the problem
exactly. the article / study (I havent read the study) is attributing the correlation to the wrong variable. Its like saying "as ice cream sales go up, so does knife attacks", this seems illogical but theres a missing factor that hasnt been discussed yet, ice cream sales increase as the temperature increases, and more people go outside when the temperature increases, when more people are outside more people end up getting knife attacked
>the weight loss is practically just the tower falling to pieces, not the bomb that caused the explosion in the tower to begin with
yup. its less about "maintaining a healthy weight" and "dont get sick" lol
>>10180 #
>>10179 #
>its less about "maintaining a healthy weight" and "dont get sick"
Pretty much
>"study finds that getting shot might decrease lifespan, researcher says"
overslept all morning and didnt study
uh oh
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ChatGPT sponsored joke:
>Why did the paper go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't feeling well!

I really doubt we will see LLMs progress any meaningful amount in the next few years, there has to be something completely new for it to not be a glorified search and relay engine
>>10189 #
>>10184 #
you have to have high iq to understand this joke
welp, it's official, neko is dead. sorry to say it boys. there have been no posts for 47 minutes. it's over (but written in german)
>>10195 #>>10193 #
>>10192 #
it was bound to happen someday, or maybe today is just really slow, considering its a tuesday
today has been slow because I have been gone (I was crowned the #1 hottest and most awe-inspiring poster on the nekochen domain during the 2015 nekochen presidential pre-elections)
>>10192 #
people post on neko out of spite (aka getting banned)
its never going to truly thrive
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I still have old 2chen threads open in tabs on my laptop
I cant access them anymore since they arent cached and the website is down but, amongst others, thread #998 has not yet died, I am keeping it alive
something bad happened today to my dad
>>10199 #
>>10199 #
thankfully it was nothing serious but it gave me a scare, i love my dad a lot
>>10211 #
Isn't she worried that hampster is gonna drop some poop on her head
>>10215 #
wait a sec, nekochen has been purged from all the bot threads, good news finally